Spirit of Change

Monday, November 26, 2018

“The Soup of the Day” is getting a makeover, which is desperately needed, but the feelings I have about the change are bittersweet. My talented friend designed my original blog, back when blogs were just starting to be a thing in 2010, B.I. (before Instagram). It was so beautiful and the words that filled the pages were raw, emotional, and all exposing, but most of all healing to me. I started the blog in 2010 on a word document as a way to vent my frustrations and emotions, but then I found an actual home to share my words with my friends, family, and fellow pancreatic disease sufferers. Over time, my life evolved into much more than a girl recovering from a medical misfortune, and I had less and less time to sit and write. 

In the spirit of change, I present the new blog face, the new name, and an ever evolving person that I want to share with the world again. I’ve faced illness, IVF, motherhood, a surrogacy journey, and much more life throughout the years of this blog’s existence and can’t wait to share things I have learned. I am not the same person I was in 2010, writing all of my deepest thoughts in a word document to one day share. I am whole, and I am thankful for every event that has lead me to where I stand today. Next up on I will be sharing my journey to motherhood, my pregnancy, and my current experience of navigating the world of surrogacy. When the time is right I will post a blog post about what I have learned and I can’t wait to share it with you. 

Recently I was asked to do a podcast segment for a friend of mine who did not know me during my illness. She said she read this blog and cried, not knowing the details of the story. She asked me to give one piece of advice to someone going through something life changing, my response was “every storm runs out of rain.” Turns out that is a Gary Allen song, but is so true. I remember the first time I heard the lyrics, I had tears streaming down my face relating it to my life. Moments of every battle seemed to have times that stood still, days and years where it felt like nothing would ever get better, but in time everything always does. It may not get better the way we want it to, but it will change, and it will soften. And sometimes, when one storm runs out, the next round of rain starts, so we have to be ready and open. Thanks for coming along on this journey of change with me. 

I’d be honored if you tuned in to my friend Katie’s podcast, The Purposed Platform, I am episode 006, which comes out 11/27/18. 

And as always for my pancreas friends who may google this blog looking for hope, some updated life photos:-)

Quiet Moments

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Life used to be full of quiet moments. When I started this blog I lived with one roommate, in a quiet condo in Phoenix, and I was often home alone. I had my work, my blog, and my family. And my illness. That was the part of me that fueled my creative writing, I would lay in bed and write in my head, jump out to jot it down, and create a masterpiece the next day. Today life looks different, quiet moments only happen early in the morning before my precious child is awake, or late at night when he is sound asleep. Yesterday a friend who has been with me since the beginning of my new normal, text asking for my blog address for someone who was experiencing pancreatic issues, and I laid in bed and got a much needed renewed desire to share again, even writing this passage in my head, except this time I was too tired to jump out and take notes, so I am winging it!

If you came here on a random google search about hereditary pancreatitis, or like me, searched for people who had recovered from a total pancreatectomy and were thriving, you've come to the right place. I have made this unfulfilled promise a few times in this space, but I am going to start writing again. When I look back at how far this one life has come as a result of doing very hard things, I am so happy I have this blog and these memories. So I am doing it for those looking for hope, but also for myself as a journal of the moments in life.

If you are new here, start here: 

A recap of the 2 years lost in this space:

1.) I made a really cool video for Dr. Grussner. I had wanted to go speak at his conference in person, but NYC was far and I was newly pregnant and nervous, so we had a video made instead.

2.) I survived a crazy pregnancy, one that I wish I had blogged and shared, but was too consumed with it to do much. I will share a post on it later. Yes, it is possible to carry a child after TP-AIT, but it may look different, and every story turns out differently. There are a few of us who have had babies, I am going to ask all of the TP-AIT girls who are moms now to write a little something for the blog, and we can all share our stories for those who might be afraid or about to embark on pregnancy post total pancreatectomy.

3.) I had a BABY, and he is the best person ever. He is our pride and joy and being a mom is everything to me. I used to write a lot here about my desire to be a mom, and my fear that it would not be fulfilled due to my illness. But it was, and it was worth the entire journey here.

4.) I posted this on my social media:
Posting something out of my comfort zone, but figured this would be the best way to reach a lot of people. Wondering if anyone out there on my Facebook has info on surrogacy, is a surrogate, or knows of someone who is a surrogate. If so and you are comfortable sharing, please message me privately. I haven’t blogged in over a year, but soon will share the story of how Mikey came to be, and how we need to proceed in order to expand our family for anyone who is interested! I enjoy sharing my story to try to help people in similar places❤️

👇this guy needs a sibling.
(Update: We found someone AMAZING to help us become parents to our second child, and I am again so thankful for the power of Facebook for reconnecting us about this need and desire, no one is pregnant yet, but we are working on the plans!)

5.) I continue my work as a Mom, Wife, Real Estate Agent, and Type 1 Diabetic.

6.) Aside from hospital stays during my pregnancy, I have not been in the hospital! I have not had any long lasting complications (Except Type 1 Diabetes, but I knew that was a real possibility, and some nausea with meals (manageable)). Life is good, I take 2 medications: Creon and Insulin, a lot less than “regular” people! Thanks for coming along on this journey. I started this blog in 2011, but now blogging is so popular and has changed a bunch, I am out of the loop. Today I fill my free time reading more superficial blogs, mostly about moms and babies, what baby gear is the best for the stage of life my son is in, or what beauty products will CHANGE.YOUR.LIFE. and I get sucked in to the rabbit hole! All in good fun, but I am bringing “The Soup” back.
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