A Powerful Mind

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Going into this I believed my mind would help me through this. If I could stay mentally tough I would heal well and I would avoid many of the disasters that I had heard about. I do still have this belief, but staying strong 100% of the time is hard. I have heard one phrase over and over again and I really NEED to break it down for my friends who read this. They told me time and time again the following:

"You will have good days and bad days for months during recovery"

Hmmm. Okay. Yea yea. Well I know what this means more than ever today. I have been blessed. I was blessed with a perfect surgery. But one thing you need to understand about me is I am positive. I am not negative, and actually stay away from negative people on purpose. I will never post a Facebook status that says "I feel horrible, when will this hell stop". NEVER. So even if I feel this way (oh and I have, many, many, many, many times during this recovery) I will not say that. It isn't me. I am not lying when I write how great things are, because I try to find the awesome in everything! EVERY story have a silver lining. So if I don't call you back (I had 78 voicemails during the month so far) don't think "Damn that Whitney, she is out riding roller coasters and enjoying Mexican food, and getting her nails done everyday and is INTENTIONALLY not calling me back (or seeing you or doing whatever else)." Because that is a huge false truth! 

My friends who are close know my battles and my struggles. I did have a PERFECT surgery. That is not a lie. Of course if someone else had the same surgery they may find 100's of things wrong with it. See my point? To me, I think I was so blessed with incredible doctors, nurses, and parents (major truth here, parents ahhh love them so much). I was blessed with no complications during recovery. Of course I didn't get the huge amount of islets I wanted, but God has really taken care of that for me and my islets are showing they work daily. Today, I had to skip insulin because my blood sugar was so normal after eating that I worried I would drop too low if I took it. So many POSITIVES! I love it! 

Of course the phrase above is so true. So, so true. And I have had those good days, and when I do you won't find me at home! I am trying to eat Wildflower for lunch, or Paradise, or Old Pueblo. I will be laughing with friends or walking around town. Since about Saturday at my favorite little 1 year olds birthday party I have been having those bad days. I mean I am still wearing the same shirt from Sunday and it is Tuesday...see what I mean? So not my style;-) I am a huge fan of bubble baths and clean clothing! HA! I've been throwing up and eating has been causing me cramps. These days are normal. They are to be expected. This recovery is still in the BEGINNING phase. I am still in the early stage. It goes on. People have issues in the 6 month time frame too. It is long and it is tough. 

Why am I saying all this? I guess I just want people to know. I feel like when I post on Facebook how great things are (And I really do mean that, on those good days I am on top of the world) I may be giving the false idea to people that I am "healed" and this is "over" and I just feel better letting the world know that it is very much still a healing process. So when I won't let my mom leave me (Muahahaha, yes I make her stay home when I am throwing up, I know I am 26, but I get SCARED lol) or I don't keep in touch with friends, please don't get upset! Also- I would LOVE for continued prayer. I get worried when I talk to people who are months out and just had a major set back. Its scary for me because I think about myself and my surgery and I just pray for healing. I recently have heard of a guy who was my "role model" during recovery and he is 6 months out. He is going to need another surgery and just found out. He has a massive hernia on his incision. These things happen, so I would love prayer for him too! Also- another one of my "role models" lost a bunch of blood 6 months out because he had a rip where his bowels were put back together and needed transfusions. I could go on and on. This gets to me sometimes, but then I remember something could happen to anyone! I just have to pray for healing and pray that I can live a normal life as soon as I am better.

For now I am looking forward to some things. I want to go on a trip with my family at the end of the month (a short one, but a celebration of life). I am praying that works out and that I am healed enough to be able to go. I am also looking forward to my friend Ang's baby BOY! We are all thrilled! She just found out today:-) My surgery was perfect to me, and today is allowed to be bad! I can't wait for tomorrow. That is why I named the blog soup of the day- tomorrow's soup shall be different and hopefully MUCH BETTER!  I was so thankful to wake up to no pancreas pain, and even more thankful to continue to have no pancreas pain! Life is looking good, and it will get more and more beautiful! 

1 comment:

  1. Your positive attitude inspires us all, Whit!! Life is looking very, very good :) Love you always!


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